Mariah Carey may have been dubbed “The Queen of Throwing Shade” after dissing J.Lo during an interview a few years back, but the original queen was Jeanne Dewey — my paternal grandmother. She was the queen of throwing shade before that was an expression.
As the O.G. shade master, no one was safe from her witty, albeit mean, critique. My sister and I used to fight to sit next to her at family dinners so we could hear all the gems she muttered under her breath. But getting that golden seat wasn’t just about being able to listen in on all the good barbs. Sitting next to her meant you were safe from her fire. She was kind of like Sophia Petrillo from The Golden Girls — just as funny, but a touch more subtle. Her fake smile was her tell (if you knew her well enough to tell the difference).
While my sister and I both inherited the shade gene from our grandmother, our mother had to develop her shade skills through osmosis and imitation. As she’s gotten older, her proficiency has inched closer and closer to queen status. A common target for her these days: old people, which is ironic because just last week she turned 79! Kettle, meet pot …
But the best part about my mother throwing shade? She doesn’t think/know she’s doing it. She had never even heard the expression until I called her out on it at Thanksgiving (lovingly, of course). That may actually make her legendary.
So move aside, Mariah. Grace Dewey is coming in hot as the new queen of shade. After all, she learned from the best!
-LJDT
