Eleven: The In-Between Year

A few days ago, my first-born turned 11 years old without much fanfare.

Unlike his first birthday 10 years ago, there was no elaborate celebration, no oversized cake, no massive pile of gifts and certainly no fuzzy red monster or balloon-making clown to entertain his friends.  Nope.  We ushered in year #11 with a birthday banner, an omelette and banana chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast, a small collection of gifts and later, a quiet dinner with Grandma (who drove down from NY to surprise him … how awesome is she?!).  We kept it all very much on the D.L. (that’s “down low” for all you kids who don’t know the lingo), partly by design (we’ve been downgrading the extravagance and expense of birthdays each year) and partly by chance (our schedule last week involved multiple lacrosse practices, baseball games and school activities, including three class parties, field day and a school history skit/drum performance, so we didn’t exactly have time to add in a crazy birthday party).  And you know what?  He was okay with it.

I was feeling guilty about not making such a tremendous fuss as in years past, but the truth is he’s no longer a little kid and he doesn’t need all the bells and whistles.  Don’t get me wrong, he still wants to be the center of attention on his birthday, but it doesn’t need to involve balloons, streamers and noise-makers.

Turning 11, “graduating” from elementary school and going through puberty all signal the end of childhood.  Is my eldest really entering the next phase of his life … adolescence?  I think so.

Here are 8 signs my 11-year-old son is closer to a teenager than a little kid:

1. He no longer believes in the tooth fairy … this became evident when, upon losing his last tooth, he handed it to me and asked for his dollar
2. He is starting to get pubic hair … if you count 4 short armpit strands as hair
3. He smells when he sweats … deodorant after practice and games is no longer an option
4. He has become more modest about nudity, both his and mine … I have actually regained my privacy in both the bedroom and bathroom
5. He is embarrassed by my public displays of affection … a kiss goodbye at the bus stop?  No way, Jose!
6. He can finally sleep in past 7AM … so far, the record is only 8:30 on a (non-sports) weekend, but I’ll take it
7. He wears man-sized sneakers … I just bought him size 9 cleats, which sucks because now his shoes are as expensive as mine!
8. He’s moody, like every other teenager I know … can you say hormones?

However,  for every step closer to adulthood that he takes, there are still signs that he’s not quite there yet.

Here are 8 signs my 11-year-old son is still just a child:

1. He won’t get rid of Mikey, his purple, stuffed monkey … he may not sleep with it anymore, but he won’t throw it away either
2. He is still losing baby teeth … although I think he is down to the final 2 molars
3. He needs to be reminded to use actual soap in the shower, not just water … “tubbies” were never really his thing
4. While he is more discreet when dressing or showering, he still doesn’t close the bathroom door … having his own bathroom makes this a bit less disturbing
5. He still likes to be “tucked in” at night … and I do get hugs and kisses in private (just not near the bus stop)
6. He still wakes up too early on days when he’s excited about something, like a birthday, trip or sports tournament … the big test will be Christmas morning
7. He might wear man-sized sneakers, but he still doesn’t tie his shoes (or untie them when he takes them off ) … a big pet peeve of mine
8. He still thinks butt jokes are super funny (the words balls and Uranus still get a hearty laugh, too) … between him and his brother, it’s like living with Beavis and Butthead (yes, I get the irony in the name)

Eleven is an in-between stage and like all phases, it too will pass.  Some days I miss my chubby-cheeked, snuggly little boy, but more and more I’m enjoying the almost-as-tall-as-me, sometimes somewhat mature kid that took his place.  And these days, I cherish his hugs and kisses even more … even if I only receive them in private.

As my mother always says, no matter how old your kids get, they will always be your babies. Truer words were never spoken.

– LJDT