Girl Gone Wild

I am not fun. My idea of a good time is staying home to watch a good Netflix movie (or any horribly inappropriate reality dating show), enjoying a nondairy frozen treat. Not exactly the stuff of tabloid news.

I used to be fun, back in the day. But now, I’m not. I don’t drink anymore and, at 52, I’m tired all the time (of course I wrote a blog about this very topic two years ago—read it here).

I usually blame my lack of fun-ness (not a word, but go with it) on my age, but based on my mother’s behavior last weekend, apparently age is not an acceptable excuse anymore.

Case in point: Last weekend, my parents—yes, BOTH OF THEM—were seen doing vodka ice luge shots at a backyard graduation party at four in the afternoon. FOUR IN THE AFTERNOON! They are 80 and 81, respectively (actually, 80-1/2 and 81-1/2, to be exact).

Here’s the video proof …

It’s giving “Girls Gone Wild” video vibes from the ’90s, but with octogenarians. We can call it, “Octogenarians Gone Wild”.

And wild is exactly what this is—but mostly because of my mom’s participation.

Anyone who knows my father knows, even at 80 years old, he enjoys a good time—and drinking. While he’s a Rolling Rock man at heart, he’s usually game for taking a celebratory shot or two with his friends, sons-in-law, or even grandsons now that many of them are over 21. But my mother? That’s an entirely different story.

Gracie Sue has never been a big partier. She’s not exactly a teetotaler (she enjoys a glass of wine now and then), but she’s definitely not one to do shots—luge or no luge.

Waking up to this video Sunday morning was shocking, to say the least, and when I asked her about it, she just giggled and said, “I didn’t know it was going to be vodka.”

What?! Was she expecting tequila? My mind is blown.

Fun is not a word most would use to describe my mother (I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree), but she is good-natured—especially when it comes to her grandsons. She’s been known to don a turkey hat once or twice and she’s a good sport when it comes to games and such with them.

While this video proves that my mother needs a chaperone at all times, it gives me hope that maybe in thirty years, I, too, can be fun again.

A girl can dream.

—LJDT