Last week was JMU’s Fall Break, which means O was home.
It went exactly as I had expected.
I don’t remember having Fall Break when I was in college. Maybe we had a long weekend in October for Columbus/Indigenous People’s Day, but it definitely wasn’t five days. At MIDD, H only gets a long weekend, so he never comes home. I don’t blame him. It’s too damn far to drive (despite that fact that I do it near-weekly in the spring to watch him play lacrosse, but I digress).
Despite the fact this is my first fall break experience with a college kid coming home, I was prepared. After all, I’ve been through many reentries with H over the years. The bar is set pretty low.
- I expected O to sleep in (college kids don’t get much sleep at school) and he did.
- I expected O to take crazy-long showers (sharing a bathroom with 11 other guys forces you to speed up) and he did.
- I expected O to make a mess (leaving empty bottles and food wrappers around, dropping clothes everywhere) and he did.
- I expected O to spend much of his time with his high school friends (many of whom were also home for fall break or attend school locally) and he did.
What I didn’t expect was for him to drive to Long Island to visit my aging parents … But he did (he’s a good kid). He was also home for family dinner each night except one, and that’s what I wanted most.
The truth is, O is growing up. He’s used to living on his own and not having to tell anyone where he’s going or with whom. I get it. It’s how it should be at 18. After all, at school, he’s responsible for himself, and I’d like to think I raised him well enough that he (mostly) makes good decisions.
But 18 still isn’t a full grown adult. When he’s home, we do ask him to let us in on his plans—even loosely—as a courtesy. It’s not about permission; just open communication and family consideration. It seems to work and it makes these “home visits” more enjoyable for all of us.
Both boys will be home for Thanksgiving Break in just five weeks. This time for a full week, so I’m hoping to spend a little more time together this time. A mom can dream, right?!
—LJDT
