Hell is the DMV

After a month of driving around with an expired license, I finally went to the DMV to get it renewed. The experience was, in a word, hell.

Here in PA, as in most (if not all) states, your driver’s license expires on your birthday. Since the DMV is the last place I want to be on my birthday, I didn’t go right away. In fact, since they give you a 60-day grace period, I kept pushing it down my To Do list for almost 5 full weeks.

The first day I planned to go, I woke up with a pimple. Obviously, I wasn’t going to have my picture taken with a big red bump on my face that I’d have to look at for the next 4 years, so I postponed my visit.

Then I got busy with work.

Then I was out of town.

Then I noticed my roots needed a touch-up. Because I didn’t want to be immortalized looking like a middle-aged Cruella de Vil, I postponed my DMV trip once again.

But then last week, my hand was forced. After trying to cash a check at the bank and almost being denied because my ID had expired, I knew it was time to suck it up and go to the DMV for a new license.

I get why people hate going to the DMV. It’s a horrible place. The lighting is harsh, the chairs are uncomfortable, it’s always busy, and the service is slow. For someone like me who’s impatient and hates crowded spaces, this is modern-day torture.

I expected it to be crowded, but last week was ridiculous. I couldn’t find a parking spot (my first clue of what was to come) and there was a line of people spilling out the door and around the corner (my second clue).

Surprisingly, I did get a seat once inside. However, my joy was short-lived when I realized I was crammed between a woman doused in very strong perfume and a man watching very loud videos on his phone. The combination of people, smells, and sounds heightened my anxiety—which was compounded by the near 3-1/2-hour wait!

Yes, you read that correctly: 3-1/2 hours.

To add salt to the wound, I ended up with a horrible photo that I’m now stuck with for the next 4 years! (I blame the long, draining wait.)

It’s partly my fault, though. I went to the DMV on a Friday at lunchtime (bad idea) and I hadn’t eaten yet that day (an even worse idea). Plus, I didn’t come prepared (which is actually very unlike me). I had no snacks, not enough water, no headphones (to listen to an audiobook or podcast), and no charge cord.

I did, however, have plenty of time (and enough charge) to write this blog post, so I guess that’s something.

Moral of the story: when it’s time to renew your drivers license, try to find a less-busy day/time and definitely come prepared for a long wait—especially if you’re as impatient and crowd-adverse as I am.

—LJDT