Hello, My Name Is

I was named after Lauren Bacall.

Because I was born in the 1970s, people (older people) often think I was named after Lauren Hutton, who was a popular model/actress at the time. But my parents say it was Lauren Bacall. [BTW, if you don’t know who either Lauren Bacall or Lauren Hutton are, then you’re probably too young to be reading this blog. But back to my point …]

Growing up, I was the only ‘Lauren’ I knew. It wasn’t a common name then. I was often mistakenly called Laura, Laurie/Lori, or Laureen. I hated all of three of those names, but Laureen was the worst — mainly because the person who called me Laureen was the Catholic nun who taught our religion class. [Sorry @laureenmsciallis — it fits you, just not me.]

As a kid, not having a common name sucked. My name was never on any of those personalized trinkets, like pencils, refrigerator magnets, or mini license plates. And it definitely wasn’t on a lunchbox, t-shirt, or bracelet. When you’re 7, 8, 9 years old, that’s devastating — especially when your older sister finds her name on seemingly EVERYTHING!

But by the mid-1980s, Lauren became way more popular, and for a while, it was everywhere.

Two of my junior high/high school best friends had the same problem. Maybe that’s why we were drawn to each other. But while Lauren gained popularity, their names still evaded the personalized tchotchke market.

First there was Carin. Her name wasn’t (and still isn’t) uncommon (Karen), but the spelling is. Kerin, on the other hand, had/has it harder. Not only do people still not spell her name correctly (you should see her Starbucks orders!), more often than not, they mispronounce it, saying Karen with a short ‘a’ instead of Kerin with a short ‘e’. She even changed her Instagram handle to @kerin_notkaren as a nod to her lifelong battle. #thestruggleisreal.

But back to me …

As a 51-year-old, I still occasionally have someone call me by the wrong name, but I’m quick to correct them. Politely, of course — unless it’s being done passive-aggressively by someone I don’t like, in which case I’m a bit more snarky in my response.

But what I find more curious is how many people misspell or mispronounce my (married) last name — Tarr. I don’t think it’s that difficult, but based on the junk mail and robocalls we receive, maybe I’m wrong. Carr, Tart, Tar … You’d be amazed at the creativity.

Case in point: Back when my now-husband and I worked at a sports marketing agency in Manhattan a hundred years ago, he once received mail at the office addressed to Stankey Torr, rather than his actual name, Stanley Tarr. I get that it was probably just two unfortunate typos, but given that our office was mainly a bunch of young 20-somethings who could find humor in anything and everything, the name stuck. Stan will forever and always be Stankey Torr to a small group of now 50-something dudes.

I don’t know why I decided to share this story today. Maybe it’s because a client recently got annoyed that I wasn’t accepting her Calendar invites, only to discover that she kept spelling my name as Lauren Tarre — a mistake that meant I wasn’t receiving said invites. Or maybe it’s because last Friday night I was supposed to wear a name tag at the parent/player football picnic and I am very anti-name tag. [Yes, I recognize the irony; with a name tag, people can’t mistakenly call me Laura, Laurie/Lori, or Laureen. But I’m still not wearing one — although I do appreciate others wearing tags so I don’t forget their names, which is a common occurrence, but that’s a blog post for another day.]

The moral of the story: Double-check your spelling when writing someone’s name, and never ever call me Laura, Laurie/Lori, or Laureen. Especially if I already don’t like you (I’m looking at you Sister Mary Margaret).

— LJDT