Mel Robbins’ “Let Them” theory is all the rage these days—at least according to social media. And while I agree with this premise in certain situations, like how my parents decide to arrange the furniture in their new home or my son’s decision to grow a goatee, I’m really more of a “Let Them Know” girl.
Mel claims you’ll be happier and less stressed if you just let people do what they want. After all, you can’t control other people’s behavior.
I agree, HOWEVER …
If said person’s behavior is nasty or abusive towards me, I’m gonna let them know. That’s what boundaries are for. You don’t have to accept someone’s bad behavior. You can let them know and even let them go, if that serves you best.
I wasn’t always this way. I spent decades being silent, not wanting to cause waves or draw attention to myself—even when I should have. But thanks to years of therapy, I am no longer quiet and I definitely don’t let people disrespect me. The problem is, I sometimes overcorrect and swing too far in the other direction.
I’m working on choosing my battles, but more often than not, I follow Dr. Martin’s school of thought:
Here’s the thing: Being a nice person didn’t serve me well. Neither did being a people-pleaser. What I strive for now is to be a kind and generous person. Someone who is thoughtful and respectful, but also not afraid to speak her mind and protect her boundaries—even if it ruffles feathers.
After all, sometimes saying “F*ck Off” is the best way to protect your peace.
—LJDT
