When I was in college, I was friends with a group of girls we affectionately referred to as the ‘K Club’. All their names started with a hard /k/ sound: Crissy, Catherine, Katie, Kim …
This is ironic for two reasons:
- Only a few of the girls had names that started with /k/. There was also Melissa, Ann, Nicole, Suzanne, and probably a few more I’m forgetting. (It was 30 years ago — cut me some slack!)
- My circle of best girlfriends is also a ‘K Club’: Kerin, Carin, Kerry, Caitlin, and Sharon. (I know Sharon isn’t a hard /k/ name, but it does rhyme with Carin (pronounced Karen), so there’s that!)
My best girlfriends are my lifelong friends; I’ve known them for anywhere from 35-49 years! They’re also pretty much my only girlfriends, and they all live far away.
I’ve tried over the years to make new grown-up friends, but it’s really hard. People are busy, and most already have their clique. Add to that my awkwardness and socially anxiety (not to mention the fact that I don’t like most people), and it’s not exactly a recipe for easily building new bonds.
The result? Other than my five besties, I mostly have casual and situational friends. No one I can go for a morning walk with, run errands with, or call to bitch about my day.
Then there’s Karen.
Karen and I met last year during our sons’ junior year of lacrosse at Middlebury. It started out casually, talking occasionally at tailgates, but I think things are getting serious😉.
This past spring, Karen was my constant sideline sister. Because we both attended every game, we sat together for hours, multiple times a week. She became my lacrosse bestie.
In the beginning, we only talked about our boys and lacrosse. But Karen is warm and friendly and easy to talk to, which made it easy for me to open up to her. We shared stories — and laughs — and quickly realized our personalities were very similar. We even dislike the same people (my favorite way to bond).
Plus, her name starts with a hard /k/, so it was fated.
Now that the boys have graduated and Karen and I are back in our respective states (me in PA, her in MA), we don’t get to hang out in person anymore (although I did visit her last weekend). Now, we text and talk and send memes to each other — just like with my other long-distance friends.
Making new friends in midlife isn’t easy. Having long-distance friends also isn’t easy, but for the right person, it’s worth it.
—LJDT
