If you’ve been around here for more than a minute, you know I’m 53 (and 3/4) and haven’t had a period since Thanksgiving 2012.
Yes, you read that correctly. I am 13 years postmenopausal.
If your social feed is anything like mine, you know perimenopause and menopause are (finally!) having a moment right now. Every middle-aged celebrity and Gen X/millennial influencer is talking about hot flashes, night sweats, dry vaginas, and mood swings.
As someone who went through menopause at 40 and writes medical/health and wellness articles for a living, I’m a bit of an expert on the topic. A meno queen, you could say.
If you’re looking for some facts about what our boomer moms and grandmoms called “the change,” here’s an article I ghostwrote for Atlantic Health in 2023. If you’d rather know my brash take on the stages of menopause and who knows what, keep reading.
Think of menopause like high school or college. Each grade represents a woman’s age and stage. For example:
- Freshmen (women in their late 30s/early 40s who are just entering perimenopause) — You have no idea what’s going on and it shows. You think adding collagen to your coffee is a cure-all, but you have a lot to learn. Take a seat and listen to your (Gen X) elders.
- Sophomores (ladies in their mid-to-late 40s) — You know a bit more, but that false-confidence makes you an annoying know-it-all. You, too, need to sit down and stop trying to push whatever cream you found on TikTok. (I’m looking at you, geriatric millennial influencers.)
- Juniors (those of us in our 50s who’ve already hit the big M) — We know our way around, and we’re not afraid to talk about the ugly parts. We’re bold and brazen. We are the true Gen Xers.
- Seniors (postmenopausal women in their 60s) — You are my heroes. You’ve been through it all. You’ve seen some shit. You’ve made it to the other side and are wiser, calmer, happier, and even more confident than ever. I can’t wait to join your group.
If you’re still in the throws of perimenopause, hang on. I know it sucks. You can’t sleep, sex hurts, and you never know when you’ll get your period. It also lasts FOREVER.
But once you make it to the other side, you’re free. No more PMS. No more tampons and pads. No more pregnancy scares. You can wear white whenever you want and do whatever you want because you are now a meno queen, like me.
Embrace it. Love it. Live it. Postmenopause is the Disney World of midlife … It’s magical here.
—LJDT
