A message before I even get into this post: YES, I know the title isn’t grammatically correct. But I like alliteration, so go with it. Or don’t. Either way, it’s staying.
Now, on with the post …
What do menopause, Mother Nature, and I have in common? We’re all unpredictable and temperamental. In other words, we’re moody bitches.
Menopause is a roller coaster ride of hormonal ups and downs, hot flashes, weepiness, and vaginal dryness. Spring weather (at least where I live) is just as sporadic as menopausal mood swings: cold and wet one day, hot and sweaty the next.
Case in point: Two weeks ago, I sat through a monsoon during my younger son’s high school track meet. Then last week, I was wrapped in a blanket at my older son’s college lacrosse game one day, and sweating my ass off, getting sunburned the next.
WTaF, Mother Nature? Get your shit together!
I made an offhanded comment to my younger son about how Mother Nature is a moody bitch in the springtime, and the side eye I got from him was searing. “Kinda like you,” he said with a sly grin.
Touché , O — but, ouch!
The smart ass isn’t wrong, though. I’m self-aware enough to know that I, too, am moody and temperamental, running hot one moment and cold the next (both literally and figuratively). Like my hormones and the weather, I’m not easy to predict. If Mother Nature is menopause personified, then I am Mother Nature personified.
But you know what? Mother Nature is a force. You don’t f*ck with her without finding out — kinda like me. She’s a badass bitch (with some issues) and so am I, so I’m taking my son’s snarky comment as a compliment.
If you’re also an unstable badass, let’s form a girl gang. We can even get jackets. Moody menopausal bitches unite!
— LJDT
