I am not a gentle parent. My boys know this about me. So it stands to reason that, when caring for them when they’re sick or hurt, my bedside manner could use some work. I’m more Nurse Ratched than Florence Nightingale.
Clearly, I was not cut out to be a nurse. And knowing this, I was a bit concerned about having to care for H after his shoulder surgery last week. After all, we’ve been down this road before and my track record isn’t the best.
In 2018, H broke his tibia and needed emergency surgery. He was in the hospital for 3 days … Or more accurately, we were in the hospital for 3 days. Because he was a minor, I slept there, too—on a couch in his room.
It was not enjoyable.
Luckily, this experience so far has been way different from that one.
For one thing, he’s not a teenager anymore. This time, he was in charge of all decisions—including the decision not to take Percocet or any other hardcore pain killers.
For another, it was an outpatient procedure. Neither of us had to sleep in the hospital. Apparently, tucking a few ligaments to repair a torn labrum is easier than implanting three screws to repair a broken tibia.
But the biggest difference has been the recovery. Granted, we’re only 8 days in and he’s still required to wear the elaborate brace 24 hours a day, but now that he’s no longer in constant pain (that lasted about 4 days), he’s capable of doing much more for himself—although he’s still far from being fully independent again.
He can’t drive, or take off his shirt, or cut his food. He also can’t change his own bandages or do anything that requires two equally working hands/arms.
Despite a few bumps—like when I accidentally cut him trying to remove the layers of surgical tape covering his incision— it’s still easier than last time. Last time, he couldn’t get on or off the toilet alone. And he was 15 at the time, so … I’ll leave that there for you to imagine. (You can also read about it here.)
Next week, he goes back to the doctor for his 2-week post-op evaluation and hopefully have the stitches removed. If all goes well, he’ll start PT so he can get back to being a fully independent mostly-grown adult. We’re both ready for that. After all, in 2 months he moves and starts his big-boy job, and I don’t think he wants his mommy tagging along to tie his shoes.
Ain’t nobody got time for that.
—LJDT
