Octogenarians Know How to Party

In 1992, we gave my grandmother a surprise 80th birthday party. She definitely didn’t expect it, but we (her family) were the ones who were really surprised … Turns out, she was only 79.

Decades earlier, our family matriarch, Jeanne (real name Genevieve) Dewey, had lied about her age to get a job; she told her employer she was born in 1912 when she was really born in 1913. She lied for so long that she forgot to tell the rest of us how old she really was — thereby resulting in the erroneous 80th birthday celebration on what was actually only her 79th birthday.

Fast forward thirty years and here we are again, celebrating another 80th birthday. But this time, the guest of honor was my mother, and this time, we knew for sure we had our dates right.

Let the record show that I tried to write this post without mentioning my mother’s age (her request), but it’s hard to draw a comparison without mentioning it. That said, the shared milestone is where the similarities end. Octogenarians thirty years ago are nothing like the octogenarians of today!

Now back to this past weekend …

Our mother doesn’t like surprises, but she also doesn’t remember what we tell her (in part because she’s older, but also because she doesn’t listen), so this was more like a semi-surprise. We told her it was an early birthday dinner with extended family. We had to tell her at least this much so she didn’t show up in sweatpants without any makeup on. (#sorrynotsorry. Truth hurts.)

She also doesn’t like to be the center of attention, so we kept it small. Our guest list was limited to extended family (who were in town) and a few old friends who aren’t technically related to us, but have been around for so long that we consider them our bonus family.

And the best part (from a planning perspective, at least), because our mother prefers low-key, no-frills gatherings, we didn’t have to go all out with decorations or set up. Just plenty of seating, low music, bright lights, soft foods, and an early start time. This was a party for octogenarians, after all.

We did try to embarrass her with a big 8-0 balloon bouquet, but the universe was on her side; the zero deflated before any guests arrived, making it look like we were celebrating an 8th birthday, rather than an 80th. At least the cake didn’t disappoint.

Overall, the party was a hit. My mother was visibly happy and the love in the room was palpable. This celebration may not have been as rowdy as the parties my parents used to throw back in the day, but there was still a lot of laughter and plenty of walks down memory lane that lasted well past everyone’s normal bedtimes. The old people even outlasted the younger crew! (And by younger, I mean the 50-somethings.)

Hosting a party for seniors taught me a few things:

1. At 50, I’m a lot like an octogenarian. I, too, enjoy a smaller crowd, an early start time, and a seat.
2. Octogenarians eat the cake. They indulge, guilt-free and happily. I love that!
3. Cousins and old friends make the best friends. This group proves that.
4. 80 isn’t as old as I once thought it was. Maybe it’s the hair dye — or the cake.
5. My sister is one of the most giving people I know. Thanks, D, for everything.
6. We are beyond lucky to celebrate 80 years with our mother. Not everyone reaches this milestone and we recognize that. #blessed (for real).

Thank you again to everyone who helped us celebrate Gracie Sue this past weekend, and a special thanks to Kathy for inadvertently suggesting this week’s blog topic. And I didn’t even mention the street signs or the weather! 🙂

Happy early birthday, Mom. We love you!

-LJDT