NOTE: This week’s blog is going to sound a bit materialistic and a touch morbid, but it’s all written in good fun, with love and laughter in my heart (and my parents know this).
When my parents die, I am not expecting to receive any type of inheritance. Partly because I don’t come from a wealthy family. But also because all the money they do have is being spent now on cookies and sports betting.
I should probably explain that. But first, a little back story …
I didn’t know my mother’s parents, but I was very close with my father’s. When they passed, they did not leave behind an inheritance. They didn’t have much, but they were very generous with what they did have while they were alive.
There are many examples, but the two that come to mind first are:
- How my grandma used to take my sister and me back-to-school shopping every year
- How, when we were older, they slipped cash into our pockets as we hugged goodbye after a visit
Maybe it was because my grandparents grew up during the Great Depression. Or maybe it was just how they were raised. Whatever the reason, Jeanne and Charlie Dewey believed it was better to spend their money while they were still alive on the people they loved most — their children and grandchildren.
My parents are the same way.
This is particularly true for my mother. Gift-giving is her love language.
I used to think this was a mother-daughter bonding thing. Especially since my mom was an only child and not particularly close with her mother.
But now I’m pretty sure it’s just a Grace Dewey thing — which brings me back to my original statement: There will be no inheritance because all my parents’ money goes to cookies and sports betting … And my mom is to blame.
If you read this blog regularly, you already know about my mother’s obsession with Mallomars. (She was even featured on a podcast to talk about it!) She spends a small fortune every fall and winter on these limited-edition treats … Mostly for herself, but also to share with her five grandsons (to whom she mails multiple boxes).
Once February hits, it’s on to Girl Scout cookies. She’s already spent hundreds of dollars shipping a variety of flavors to the boys.
Then there’s the sports betting. Although to be fair, this one really only involves my youngest.
Since O was in the eight grade or thereabouts, my mom has been betting with him on big sports games. Whichever team he picks in the Super Bowl, NBA Finals, Final Four, or other big event, she picks the opposite.
It’s not that she loves sports or even watches these games. Half the time she doesn’t even know who’s playing until O tells her. But she loves O (and all her grandsons) and this is her way of bonding with him.
For my mom, sports betting is really just an ends to a means. It opens the door for back-and-forth texting (which she love). And it gives her an excuse to send him money (which she does whether she wins or loses the bet). It’s basically the modern version of slipping money in his pocket — the same way my grandma used to do.
My mom’s cookie spending and sport betting habit may be to blame for the lack of a future inheritance, but I should be clear about something … She’s not the only one spending money while alive.
My dad is just as generous — just in a different way.
Gift-giving isn’t his love language (although he does insist on buying his own Christmas gift, and he’s always picking up the restaurant bill before anyone else has a chance to). He spends money on quality time-related things, like traveling to see the boys play sports or attending graduation ceremonies. He is everyone’s biggest fan and most loyal supporter.
He would also give any one of us the shirt off his back and his very last penny if he thought we needed it. Literally, not figuratively. Tom Dewey is as generous as he is loyal.
I may not be inheriting a fortune in the years ahead, but I’ve already gotten something far more valuable: A living example of how to live generously — whether that means buying an absurd amount of cookies for the people you love, or just spending time with them.
Material things are nice, but I know it’s my family that makes me rich.
—LJDT
