The Dog Ate Your Homework? Lame. I Can Do One Better Than That …

We don’t have a dog so the old excuse, “The dog ate my homework!” isn’t an option for my kids.  But that’s okay because my youngest found an even better excuse … “My mom burned my homework!”

Yep, it’s true.  A few weeks ago, I burned my third grader’s math folder and spelling workbook.  Not on purpose, of course.  Actually, I think it was really his fault.  Yes, I realize I am throwing my 8-year-old under the bus here, but let’s call a spade a spade, shall we?

Here’s the scenario:  I was at the stove cooking dinner while simultaneously supervising my kids’ homefun — that’s the elementary school’s weak attempt at renaming homework so it sounds more appealing.  [Note to school:  The kids aren’t buying it.  It’s still homework.]  My 8-year-old had been doing his assignments on the kitchen counter across from the stove, but left to use the computer in the study.  While my back was turned, he came back in to the kitchen to grab something out of his binder and carelessly (or inadvertently, depending on how you spin it) knocked his math folder and spelling workbook off the counter and onto the stove.  Directly onto a pot of boiling water.  He didn’t notice, so he went back to the study.  Soon enough, the school books caught fire and flames were rising up.  I was able to retrieve the burning books and put out the fire, but I couldn’t stop the smoldering without dousing the workbook with water, thus rendering Mega Words both charred and moist.  As for the math folder, it was plastic — was being the operative word — so it melted.

Did I yell?  Did I lecture?  Did I overreact?  Of course I did.  It’s what I do best.  Then I did what I do second best … I calmed down and I retracted most of what I had just screamed about.  After the smoked had literally settled, I was able to see the bigger picture … It could have been worse.  Much worse.  No one got hurt, no damage was done (except to the school books) and dinner wasn’t even ruined.  Crisis averted.  Lesson learned:  No more homework on the kitchen counter while cooking dinner.

A few days later, I went out and bought a desk for the kitchen/family room.  Problem solved.

-LJDT