Valentine’s Day Throuple

I’ve been with my husband for nearly 26 years. Married for almost 22. For the entirety of our relationship, we have been in a throuple (or triad, if you prefer): It’s me, Stan, and Virginia. I know he fell in love with her first and she’ll always be around, so I’ve learned to live with the mistress in my marriage. Plus, I take consolation in knowing that I’m the one wearing the ring, so that makes me the main bitch in this threesome and her just the side piece.

IT’S NOT AS BAD AS IT SOUNDS

Typically, I don’t like to share. I’m not one to play second fiddle and I definitely don’t like feeling dismissed (one of many trigger points from my PTSD). There are times when his interest in her is a nuisance and even off-putting, but I deal with it. Frankly, I even welcome it at times. When my husband is focused on Virginia, I’m free to do whatever I want — alone (a welcomed state for an introvert like me, especially after nearly two years of pandemic living), uninterrupted (can I get an amen from all the mamas out there?!), and without guilt or shame (something the recovering people-pleaser in me struggles with and therefore relishes). So in truth, it’s mostly a win-win.

For the most part, holidays don’t include Virginia (although plenty of weekends and some week nights do), but this year I had to share Valentine’s Day with my husband’s mistress. As I said, it doesn’t happen every year. In fact, it mostly doesn’t happen. It just depends on schedules, and this year, the stars aligned, schedules overlapped, and it happened … We had a Valentine’s Day throuple.

SO ‘HOO IS VIRGINIA?

IYKYK — and if you don’t, I just gave you a very big hint …

Virginia is my husband’s undergrad alma mater — the University of Virginia, a.k.a., UVa or simply, Virginia. He may have loved her first and it’s true that she’ll always be around, but since I’m the one wearing the ring, that makes me the main bitch in this threesome and her the side piece. [Side note: The Virginia Cavaliers are also called the wahoos or ‘hoos, for short — thus my hint.]

If you know my husband IRL, then you know that he is almost never without some piece of Virginia paraphernalia. Usually it’s a baseball cap, and now a face mask, but it can also be one of many t-shirts, sweatshirts, or jackets he owns. You may even catch him holding his Virginia travel mug or standing under his giant Virginia rain umbrella. Like I said, he rarely goes anywhere without “her.”

As a sports fan, Stan takes UVa fandom to a new level. If there is a Virginia football, basketball, or lacrosse game on, he’s watching it. He’s even been known to watch UVa swim meets, track meets, baseball games, and even women’s volleyball games. Anything to get his Virginia fix! To say he is UVa proud is an understatement.

So this year, our Valentine’s Day consisted of a candlelit dinner in front of the television, watching Virginia play their in-state rival, Virginia Tech in basketball. And they say romance is dead!