Now that I’ve been 50 for over a week, I can safely say that I really am wiser. And not just about knowing myself. I know more about humanity and the world. With 50 years of life lessons under my belt, I’m a bit like an old sage — just with a fresh mouth and a sarcastic bite.
Since some of you aren’t as old (read: wise — wink, wink) as me, I’ll share a few pearls of wisdom that I’ve garnered over my half century on Earth. You can thank me later.
Without further ado, here are my 50 life lessons, Midlife Moxie-style …
- Nothing is permanent; change in inevitable (for better or worse)
- Bad things happen to good people, and it sucks
- Time doesn’t heal all wounds, it just softens the edges
- What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger if you deal with it
- Everyone has issues/problems; some people are just better at hiding them
- Not everyone will like you, and that’s okay because you won’t like everyone either
- Some people aren’t worth your time or energy (be able to recognize those people)
- It’s not always about you (unless you’re an asshole — then it is about you)
- People always show you who they really are (pay attention)
- You can’t force anyone to do anything, no matter how hard you try (this is especially true for children and husbands)
- Listening is a skill; so is patience (I’m still working on both)
- Good enough really is good enough
- It’s okay to rest
- There’s power in the pause (and no regret)
- Crying isn’t always about sadness, and it’s not a sign of weakness
- Telling someone to calm down will only rile them up more (FYI: “someone” is me)
- Gardening is very grounding, but weeding sucks
- Hitting a boxing bag (or pillow) is always better than hitting a human
- Meditation doesn’t only happen in stillness (movement can be meditative)
- Sometimes, self-care looks like telling someone to fuck off
- Self-advocacy and setting boundaries are the highest form of self-love
- NO is a full sentence and doesn’t require an explanation
- Speaking your truth may cost you some relationships, and that’s okay (those weren’t your people anyway)
- You know yourself best; trust your gut (she knows what’s up, even if she’s finicky)
- Unresolved emotional trauma can manifest in physical ways (there’s scientific evidence to support this)
- Healing isn’t linear and setbacks aren’t failure
- Therapy is life-changing
- Kindness matters (don’t be a dick)
- Please and thank you go a long way (so does looking someone in the eye when speaking to them)
- You’re not always going to be right (#facts)
- Mistakes happen (own them and learn from them)
- Saying “I’m sorry” is worthless without changed behavior
- Knowledge is only power if you put it into action
- If you were born white, you have white privilege (use that shit to dismantle institutional and systemic racism)
- Representation matters (see #34)
- Nobody likes a sore loser or a conceited winner
- Relationships (of all kinds) take work
- Impact and intent don’t always line up (recognized that)
- All choices come with consequences (good or bad — own them either way)
- Not all surprises are bad
- Peeing before leaving the house is always a good idea
- The key to looking good is to be a hot mess most of the time for contrast
- Men cannot multitask — or find anything that’s not directly in front of them
- Shit happens and sometimes you’ll have to poop in a public bathroom (get over it)
- Reality/trash TV and TikTok have their merits
- Teenage boys are simultaneously the worst (that smell!) and the best (those hugs!)
- Menopause is as chaotic as puberty (just in reverse)
- Aging parents are a lot like toddlers (IYKYK)
- The older you get, the more excited you are about sleep, regular bowel movements, and kitchen gadgets
- We’re all just doing the best we can
I’m sure there are more profound life lessons that I’ve overlooked, but I was going for the “50” theme to match my age. Kind of like trying out for high school sports, not everyone made the cut. That said, if you have any golden nuggets to share, please do … but only if you’re my elder. You young whippersnappers 49 and under can zip it until you’re older and wiser, like me and the other Golden Girls. Just be sure to write it down while you wait because the menopause brain/short-term memory loss thing is real. #facts
-LJDT
