Yesterday was Thanksgiving. If your social media feed is anything like mine, you were probably bombarded with photos of beautiful table settings, delicious food and happy families. I did not join in the obligatory posts, as our Thanksgiving was not exactly Pinterest-inspired. Rather, it was super chill. We replaced the traditional big group for a small one, traded the usual dinner feast for a brunch and swapped football for college basketball (UVa was playing and someone in our house (cough, cough — my husband — cough, cough) does not like to miss a game. Go Wahoos!). But our understated holiday does not mean I wasn’t feeling grateful yesterday. Quite the contrary. And that is why even though I am a day late and a dollar short with this post, I am going to join the ranks of every other writer, columnist, blogger, influencer and human American on social media and add my two cents about gratitude and being thankful. Sure, this might be a passive-aggressive way to have the last word on the subject, but better late than pregnant. Amirite, ladies?!
I tried to write an original piece earlier in the week, but those damn middle school half-days threw off my writing schedule. Then I thought about phoning it in and recycling an old piece. I mean, I’ve already written three Pulitzer Prize-worthy Thanksgiving articles over the past few years (you can reread them here, here and here), all of which still hold true: I am still grateful for my family, friends, health and home; I am still thankful for my heated car seats, carpools and under eye concealer; I am still beholden to my Vitamix, hot tea and long-sleeved shirts with thumb holes; and I am still going to complain about silly nonsense while simultaneously feeling blessed for all these things because that, my friends, is how I roll. In the end, I did neither and Thanksgiving passed without a post. But this morning when I woke up and watched the sun rise, I felt compelled to pen this piece because this year my list goes deeper than just kitchen gadgets and leggings (although, I am super excited about leggings with pockets). This year, instead of just saying I am grateful for all the things in my life, I actually really feel grateful for all the things — good and bad. It’s corny, but true.
For the past few years, I’ve been writing in a gratitude journal every night before going to bed. I thought that if I ended each day on a positive note, I could carry that feeling into the next day and ultimately become a happier, calmer, more positive person. But it wasn’t working, in part because I was just going through the motions. I always wrote something in my journal, but I didn’t always feel something. Then about a month and a half ago, I “got woke,” as the kids today say.
Exactly 54 days ago, I started a 90-day personal growth challenge conceived by author @msrachelhollis and her husband, @mrdavehollis. The idea is simple: Live the last 90 days of the year with as much passion, intention and commitment as you plan to start the first 30 or so of the next. [Side note: Yes, they know that technically October 1 – December 31 is 92 days, but 90 sounds better, so just go with it, okay?!] There are five simple tenets to the #last90days challenge, most of which I already commit to on a daily basis. But number five has been a real game-changer for me. Every day, I have to write down ten things for which I am grateful. TEN THINGS. EVERY DAY. I struggled at first, but once I started looking for things throughout the day, it became easier. I realized that looking was the key. Actually looking with my eyes, mind and heart open. Knowing that I have to write down ten things each day has forced me to view my daily events and encounters differently. I appreciate little things that in the past I would have just glossed over. Things like, a ripe banana, an open rack at the gym or a good song on the radio. This practice of looking, reframing and then actually feeling has helped me to know more joy in each day and that, in turn, has helped me to spread more joy to others. I now make it a point to express my appreciation through simple gestures, like a smile, compliment or genuine thank you.
Gratitude is a muscle that needs to be flexed every day. I have a lot to be thankful for this year — from reconnecting with old friends and finding new ones at the gym (#5amclub), to my son’s injury recovery and my own health journey, to discovering roots touch-up spray and enjoying Amazon Prime benefits at Whole Foods. Life is good — mostly — and not just on Thanksgiving.
So now that the turkey is gone and those warm and fuzzy feelings begin to give way to holiday stress, remember to pause and look for the good in each day. It is there, you just have to see it.
– LJDT
