As someone who’s been in and out of therapy for over 10 years, I don’t usually rely on social media influencers for life advice, but @thesoftestbunny_’s “bob and weave” video is so on-point — and not just because the delivery is hysterical.
A few years ago, I renamed this blog Lauren in Charge: Diary of a Midlife Mom with Moxie and Muscle because that’s what I was: In charge of my life, firing on all cylinders. My Hashimoto’s was in remission. I was lean and strong and full of energy. I was finally comfortable in my own skin and unapologetic about my truths. I was open and honest and full of chutzpah.
Things were great — until they weren’t.
Life kept throwing my one crappy situation after another and I was spiraling. I was still a midlife mom, but that’s about it. I lost my my muscle and my moxie, and I felt like I was anything but ‘in charge’.
If you need a quick refresher, allow me to recap the past 2-1/2 years …
First, it was mercury poisoning, which took 9 months to clear out of my system. Then, COVID and a mysterious illness (i.e., toxic mold) that lasted nearly 2 years. Mix in a 3-month major house repair to remediate said mold, a series of expensive house disasters (including the most recent batch) and some devastating losses (not all of which I wrote about), and as you can see, life has thrown me a few curve balls recently.
Here’s the thing: As a sexual abuse survivor, feeling like I’m not in control — particularly of my body — is still triggering for me. Uncertainty feels unsafe, and that’s scary. According to my therapist, it’s why I’m a planner and (slowly recovering) control freak, and not a risk taker. My need for safety and security is also (partly) to blame for my anxiety.
On good days, I know I can handle whatever comes my way. I remember that I’ve done it before and can do it again. But it’s the bad days, when everything feels overwhelming — even just deciding what to make for dinner — that I can’t seem to remember that. At least not in the moment.
During #covidtimes, we all learned to pivot. Businesses pivoted, schools pivoted, people pivoted. It’s good life advice, to be flexible (even post-COVID), but the word ‘pivot’ makes me think of that couch-moving scene from Friends.
So I prefer the boxing phrase ‘bob and weave’. It makes me think of my kickboxing days back in NY and reminds me that I’m a fighter. But also because of the hilarious TikTok video from @thesoftestbunny_:
I’ve been playing this video on repeat because (1) his actions and facial expression at the end are funny AF and (2) his message is on point.
You cannot control what life throws at you. (I know; I’ve tried.) All you can do is ride it out. Duck and run for cover. Then, pivot — or as @thesoftestbunny_ says …
Bob and weave, bitch. Bob and weave.
— LJDT
