Hall & Oates and The Mercury Retrograde Funk

Disclaimer: This is not the name of a new 80’s-inspired band, but rather my tale of how the iconic duo, Hall & Oates, and the end of the Mercury retrograde cycle got me out of a recent funk.

As you’ve probably noticed, it’s been a hot minute since my last blog post. I’d like to say it was because I was vacationing on an exotic island somewhere, sipping water out of a coconut and living my best life with no access to WiFi, but that’s not why I’ve been silent these past few weeks. In reality, I’ve been in a really bad head space. Frustrated, annoyed, angry, sad … I’ve been on a bit of an emotional roller coaster since February and it’s just now starting to slow down.

To put it bluntly, it’s been a bit of a shit show around here ever since all the racial crap that happened back in February. I could blame it on PMS and raging hormones, but I’m nearly seven years post-menopausal (thanks, autoimmune disease!), so that’s not it. I could blame it on my kids’ crazy schedules and my husband’s busy workload, but that’s nothing new. And I could blame it on the stress of selling a house, back-to-back-to-back snow storms, a broken snow blower, a string of weekly snow days and sick days, an unreliable housekeeper who keeps canceling at the last minute, unexpected parental illnesses, a resurfaced family drama, Mercury being in retrograde or receiving devastating news about a friend that truly shook my world. On their own, each of these events (with the exception of the last) sucks, but is manageable. The weekly accumulation of them, however, is simply too much for my sensitive soul; It feels too heavy to bear. Often, when life gets to be too much for me, I get stuck. Frozen, really. I need time to pause and think — and overthink, as I usually do. I can’t write or be productive in any real way. I spend all my time cooking, cleaning (which I guess is good, considering the house cleaning service kept flaking on me!), surfing social media and exercising. I also yell, scream and cry … a lot. #dontjudge.

During these past few weeks, I’ve tried to give myself space and grace to work through it. I texted and called my out-of-town besties, scheduled outings with local girlfriends and booked date nights with my husband. I also started engaging in more acts of stranger kindness (my Lenten practice from last year, which you can read about here and here) and looking closely for small signs of goodness, gratitude and happiness each day to break the cycle. That’s when I made a disturbing discovery that I feel compelled to share …

I listen to a lot of Hall & Oates. I mean, a lot. Daily, in fact.

It’s embarrassing to admit. I mean, I’m the cool mom who’s bumping to hip hop and gangsta rap in the school pick-up line. But it’s true. I’d like to say that it’s situational and out of my control, that I’m forced to hear Hall & Oates on the regular because that’s what’s playing at the grocery store. And while that is accurate in some instances, it’s not the case all the time. Or even most of the time. Like my personality, my music selection is temperamental and moody. One of my preset radio stations is programmed to a soft rock channel for when I’m feeling mellow. And since I’ve been pretty melancholy lately, I mostly listen to — and sing along with — “Maneater,” “Private Eyes” and “I Can’t Go For That” on my car radio. Disconcerting, yes, but undeniably true at the same time (to the dismay of my children).

[Side note: What’s odd is that I didn’t listen to Hall & Oates when they were current/popular in the ’80s. My mom did — mostly in the car — so I blame her and osmosis for my deep knowledge of their song lyrics. I guess my kids will be able to blame thank me, too.]

I don’t know what it was about noticing my secret Hall & Oates addiction that got me out of my funk. Maybe it was just the absurdity of it combined with the end of Mercury being in retrograde, but for some reason it worked. In the words of Hall & Oates, “It’s a bitch girl, but it’s gone too far and you know it don’t matter anyway.” They’re right; My negative state had gotten out of control and needed to end. I’ve gotten a better grip on it all now and I’m ready to move forward, to battle and to write again. So thank you, John Hall and Darryl Oates, for helping me see the light. I guess you really do make all my dreams come true.

Now back to my regularly scheduled playlist of Beyonce, Jay Z and some old-school Salt-n-Pepa because a girl’s got to stay positive and slay. Trust me, you’ll hear me coming.

-LJDT