It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

Ho, ho, ho … I am officially back on my Christmas –ish.

Two weeks ago, I acquired my first-ever artificial Christmas tree (thanks, @amytroj), and this week, I finally decorated it. This is a big deal for two reasons:

I grew up in a “real Christmas trees only” home.
I stopped decorating for Christmas over a decade ago.

Growing up, my parents went all out to make Christmas magical. Tons of traditions, piles of gifts, and decorations that rivaled the store windows on Fifth Avenue. I did the same for my kids when they were younger.

But around 2014, I had had enough. The pressure to make everything perfect and magical was killing me. So I did something drastic … I left the Christmas decorations in the basement.

Nothing to unpack and set up meant nothing to pack up and put away, which was the part I hated the most. Especially since no one helped.

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

That same year, we traded in gifts for adventures that started on Christmas Eve. This assuaged any guilt I felt about not getting a tree or decorating. My thinking was, why decorate the house when we won’t even be home to see it?

That first year, we flew out to California (boys’ choice). We spent time in Los Angeles doing all the touristy things before heading down to San Diego to visit friends.

Each year that followed was also the boys’ choice. Boston. Then NYC. Then Jamaica. Then back to NYC twice, the second time (or third, really) because H’s basketball team was playing at the Barclay Center before a Nets game two days before Christmas.

Then COVID happened.

When the world opened up again, we started a new tradition: a casual brunch and an afternoon of playing games for money at my sister’s house on Long Island. Four years later, and we’re still doing this.

Through it all, the Tarr house remained dark … Until this year.

I spent the better part of the last month in and out of the hospital with complications from the flu. It was miserable. I was miserable.

So when I saw someone was giving away a pre-lit Christmas tree on our town’s Community Gifting FB page a few weeks ago, I decided I needed it. I needed a little holiday cheer this year.

So here we are. It’s a week before Christmas and, after eleven decoration-free years, I have a Christmas tree again. I even hung stockings on both mantels.

Despite going back to my decorating ways (albeit scaled back), we are still mostly keeping gifts to a minimum. But let’s be real. The responsibility to shop and wrap still falls on me, which makes it stressful. And stress for me often results in a breakdown or two.

Ironically, while there’s no family vacation planned, both boys are getting solo trips (early) this year. O left yesterday for a boys’ weekend in Oregon for the Oliver Bowl (aka, JMU v. Oregon College Football Playoff game). H left earlier today for a boys’ weekend in Texas with his buddies.

Next week, we’ll drive to Long Island for our now-traditional Christmas celebration of brunch and games with my immediate family. I still haven’t sorted out the games, bought the supplies, or determined the prizes, but I will eventually. I still have six days to stress and break down about it.