It’s less than a week before Christmas and, as the song says, “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas everywhere you go.” Everywhere but my house, that is.
I’ve written about this in the past — how I’ve given up on almost all Christmas traditions (here’s last year’s post if you need a refresher: 2021) — and this year is no different.
I know some of you are baffled by this. I’m the Grinch to your Buddy the Elf. But after years of therapy and personal development, I’ve come to realize that, for me, all those traditions feel more like obligations, and they make me feel resentful rather than joyful. Especially now that my boys are grown.
So I’ve tapped out.
Not completely. I still celebrate the day; we gather with family to exchange gifts, eat, and laugh. But that’s it. No tree, no stockings, no lights because … no help. I used to do it all alone, or with a pair of pissed-off teenagers and a grumpy husband, which is basically the same thing. The experience did not spark joy and merriment for any of us. More like anger and bitterness (and possibly even rage on my part). So I stopped doing it.
The thing is, I still really enjoy driving around at night to see all the houses lit up. Even the tacky, over-the-top ones. Especially the tacky, over-the-top ones (they remind me of my childhood and Brooklyn). I just don’t have it in me anymore to decorate MY house. If someone else wants to create a winter wonderland for me, go for it! I love how festive and twinkly it looks when it’s done. But the burden is already too heavy being the family planner and gift-buyer/wrapper to add decorating (which, as we all know, involves way more than just putting a few ornaments on a tree) to my already full plate, managing work, writing, family, and house stuff.
So I don’t decorate anymore. And you know what? I’m a better person for it. I’m less bitter and far less angry. I’ve finally learned to focus on what brings me joy (time with family) and forget everything else (lights, trees, and decorations of all kinds). [NOTE: In full transparency, this year, I did buy a tiny Grinch tree (and added lights), but only because I stumbled upon it while shopping … and it makes me smile.]
As for Christmas day itself, we’ll celebrate with family at my sister’s fully decorated house (thank you, D!) and play Present Pong again — our new, rather unorthodox Christmas tradition (reread about it here). We’ll eat, laugh, play, and then say goodbye. All in one day. Just the way I like it.
However you spend the holidays, I hope it’s joyful.
-LJDT
