This week’s post is going to be short, so don’t get too comfortable. I’ll explain in a minute, but first, a little background …
I usually write my blog posts on Sundays and schedule them to go live on Tuesdays. I actually write nearly every day (I keep a folder in the Notes section on my phone and a small pad and pen in my bag so I can jot down ideas whenever something inspires me), but I actually sit down at my computer and type on Sundays. Unfortunately, today on my typing day, I’m just not feeling it.
When I first started this blog back in January 2014 (for fun, reread my very first blog post here), my goal was to post weekly. I think I failed somewhere around week 10 or 11. In 2016, feeling a little guilty about falling short, I explained that I sometimes skip a week because I’m either too busy, too distracted, too negative, or just plain uninspired. [You can reread that post here.]
Writing that post was supposed to free me from feeling guilty when I missed a week, but I continued to feel that twinge of disappointment in myself each time it happened again. I’d eventually get over it, give myself grace for missing a week, and then write yet another “I’m Back!” post. Case in point: here, here, here, and here, to share a few.
Since September 2021, I’ve been on a streak. I haven’t missed a post in almost 73 straight weeks — despite having periods when I was too busy, too distracted, too negative, or just not inspired. Add in having multiple autoimmune flare-ups, some PTSD relapses, general anxiety, mercury poisoning, mold toxicity, a three-month home repair project, COVID, and all the other ‘normal’ crap that midlife throws at you, and I’m shamelessly proud of myself. YAY, ME!
And then today happened — I’m just not feeling it. It’s hard to explain. I’m bone tired, scattered, and weepy. Ridiculously weepy. This happens sometimes, these low days. It usually means I’m at the beginning of another autoimmune flare, my complex PTSD was triggered, or I’ve been overstimulated (by people) for too many days in a row. But sometimes, I can’t pinpoint the reason and I just have to ride it out. Today is one of those day.
Hopefully, next week will be different and I’ll be back on my -ish, delivering sassy commentary on midlife and parenting. Until then, this is the best I can do, and that is good enough for me.
-LJDT
