CONFESSION TIME: I’m not the best with change. I like patterns. I like routine. I like knowing what to expect so I can plan ahead and be ready. But we are living in #coronatimes and life is different. Nothing is the way it used to be, and it probably won’t be for a long time.
More than a month ago, I posted my honest feelings about the state-mandated stay-at-home orders, when we were less than a week in to the experience. Honestly, it wasn’t pretty (you can read it here). But I ended that post on a positive note because we were half-way through what was supposed to be a two week quarantine. I was in a good place, I thought. I could handle another week, I thought. But here we are, entering week seven with no clear end in sight. Let’s just say my optimistic attitude ebbs and flows almost daily … and today started out at low tide, for sure.
I’ve been toying with the idea of starting a weekly blog post to highlight the ups and downs of #quarantinelife — you know, all the “fun” stuff that happens when you’re working from home with a husband who is also working from home now and two teenage boys who are #distancelearning from home as well. I thought it would be comical, or at least relatable. But as the saying goes, the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray. Somehow, even with all this supposed “extra time” on my hands (which, frankly, is not the case for me, given that I started a new remote job just days into this pandemic — but that’s an announcement for another time), I haven’t gotten around to it yet. But today is the day. Low tide and all, today is the launch of a new weekly blog series that I’m calling, “My Quarantined Life,” and this is Part I.
As always, my goal is to keep it light, fun, and relatable because that’s how I roll here at #midlifemoxieandmuscle. Not to take away from the seriousness of the current situation — because after all, this coronavirus is serious and we really all do need to #staythefuckhome in order to flatten the curve and beat this thing — but I’m sure we can all use a good laugh and an honest, “Thank goodness I’m not the only one,” read, too. That said, given the fact that most of my days and weeks are essentially the same, the novelty and cache of this idea may wane quickly. But I’m throwing caution to the wind and doing it anyway. Who knows? Maybe my #quarantinefour will surprise me with new ways to get under my skin and it’ll provide more fodder for me and more entertainment for you. Or maybe this is more of a one and done thing, with Part II never to be. Only time will tell. Anyway, here it is …
My Quarantined Life, Part I: My Observations, Learnings, and Personal Discoveries.
As I said before, I’m not good with change. Stuck at home with my family 24/7, I fluctuate almost daily between, “This sucks and I hate everything and everyone around me!” to “I am so thankful and grateful for our health and this time to really slow down and discover what’s most important in life.” Some days I can see the big picture, and some days the minutiae is so thick that I can’t see more than two inches in front of me. Because I’ve done A TON of personal growth work over the past year and a half, I’ve decided to dig into the minutiae to learn more about myself and my family, and to see the absurdities and idiosyncrasies of our daily routines — hopefully for a laugh and some enlightenment. This is what I’ve uncovered so far:
- I am not a good multi-tasker, despite what I previously thought.
- Schedules are my jam, but not my family’s.
- My husband is on the phone A LOT for work. (No wonder he doesn’t want to talk much at the end of the day.)
- I don’t enjoy Zoom calls. Maybe it’s because I’m more of a one-on-one girl than a group person, or maybe it’s because I’m vain and haven’t worn makeup or styled my hair in almost two months. (Tomato, tomato).
- Clutter, mess, and constant noise make me anxious … and angry (TBH).
- Family cleaning parties aren’t really parties, and they’re certainly not fun.
- We run the dishwasher now more than the washing machine.
- There are always crumbs in the kitchen — No matter what. #justwhy?
- Having a penis really does make men blind (read my old blog post here to understand what I mean).
- Even though I leave a bowl of apples on the counter (and peeled/cut carrots in the fridge), it doesn’t guarantee that my kids will choose them over other snacks without my
naggingencouragement. - Family dinners start to lose their cache when they happen nightly.
- I really miss long, solo walks down the aisles of Whole Foods and Wegmans.
- Online shopping is now my new vice.
- Llamas and alpaca make me happy. (Also, llamas and alpaca are not the same animal, and alpaca can run fast — Who knew?!)
- Using a bidet takes practice.
- BONUS OBSERVATION: Before the bidet, I habitually (and unintentionally) used exactly six squares of toilet paper every single time I peed.
- One small can of root touch up spray is not sufficient for covering seven weeks of growth.
- I’ve been mistakenly conditioning my hair with a second bottle of shampoo for weeks now because I couldn’t read the label in the shower without my eyeglasses.
- I am cranky when I don’t get enough sleep, but just as cranky when I oversleep.
- Every morning, I unconsciously make exactly three swipes with my under eye concealer. Never two, never four. (I told you I like patterns and routines.)
- Daily hygiene during quarantine is apparently optional for teenage boys. (I’m honestly not sure if they brush their teeth or change their underwear anymore.)
- If I keep my hair in a topknot every day, I only have to wash it once a week. (I guess this means daily hygiene is optional for moms, too!)
- I’m actually pretty low-maintenance, if you don’t count my multiple autoimmune issues and abundant food allergies.
- Coconut oil is the bomb. (Do people still say that?)
- SIDE NOTE: I may not know if “the bomb” is still hip, but I do know that “OD” is the new way of saying “extra” or over the top; I’m just not allowed to use this newfound knowledge in public, according to my kids.
- I love my boys, but we will not be making a family TikTok video any time soon. #sorrynotsorry
- Even a big house feels small to an introvert when quarantined with others.
- I really am one moody bitch, especially when hungry, tired, stressed, or inconvenienced in any way.
So there you have it — The top 30 things I’ve observed and learned during our first six weeks of #myquarantinedlife. Check back regularly to see what I learn next, or just to see if I’ve made it through week seven without throwing out the Xbox or killing anyone one.
Stay safe!
-LJDT
