My Quarantined Life, Part III

It’s all about the silver linings.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day, and while my I’m often disappointed with how the day goes, I was pleasantly surprised this year. Not because I woke up to a bouquet of flowers and a pile of gifts (I didn’t), or because I was showered with hugs and kisses all day long (I wasn’t), or because my family waited on me, hand and foot, while I sat poolside with my feet up and a glass of wine in my hand (I don’t have a pool and I stopped drinking a long time ago). It was because I changed my mindset. I willingly, not begrudgingly, lowered my expectations, vocalized my wants and needs in advance, and allowed the day to unfold as it would. The result: Just the right mix of attention and detachment, togetherness and solitude … Exactly what I wanted and needed.

At the end of the day, as I got ready for bed, I thought about how, over the past year and half or so, I’ve grown better at expressing my needs and asking for help. I also thought about how #myquarantinedlife is forcing me to lean into that even more. Each week, I’m getting better at it, and that got me thinking … What else have I gotten better at since living in lockdown?

I have definitely made some big shifts over the past nine weeks — like, getting more sleep, taking daily walks outside, enjoying more family time (okay, that one is still questionable at times), and — as I just said — reducing my anxiety by lowering the bar and actually accepting that sometimes “good enough” truly is good enough. I’ve also gotten better at letting go of control, cutting myself more slack, and knowing when to quit. But it’s the little changes (both the intentional and incidental) that I think are having the biggest impact on me right now. Things like …

• I haven’t been late to anything in over two months.
• I’ve finally memorized my credit card number, expiration date, and that annoying three-digit security code.
• I’ve discovered that alpaca make me happy.
• I’ve started running and boxing again (both help to clear my mind).
• I’ve been able to talk with my sister more often.
• I’ve been enjoying “date walks” with my husband on a weekly basis.
• I’ve been transformed into a bidet believer.
• I’ve saved tons of money on gas, dry cleaning, and personal care luxuries like pedicures, blowouts, and hair coloring appointments.
• I haven’t gotten a speeding ticket in months.
• I haven’t had to run to the store to buy poster board or party treats at the last minute because my kid “forgot.”
• I haven’t had to juggle carpools and after-school pick-ups.
• I haven’t had to make small talk in people I don’t like.
• I haven’t had to clean up turf pellets, air out my car, or stand in the cold rain all spring — although I do miss seeing my kids play lacrosse.

The small stuff that I used to sweat, is now the small stuff that is keeping me sane. These unexpected upsides to quarantine living are my silver linings. They are what I’m choosing to focus on today to keep me calm and centered. I can’t guarantee I’ll be this rosy tomorrow, but today it’s rainbows and unicorns … or in my world, bidets and alpacas.

What are your quarantine silver linings?

-LJDT