In contrast to last week’s post about how I still sweat the small stuff, this week, I’m cataloging some of the little things that bring me joy. And when I say little, I mean tiny — and often ridiculous.
Like everyone else, I have my bad days. I am a middle-aged working mom with teenage boys and aging parents, after all. Every day isn’t rainbows and unicorns. And as someone who lives with anxiety, PTSD, and a chronic (invisible) illness, some days are even more triggering than others. It sucks, but after years of therapy and tons of personal growth work, I’m better now at recognizing my triggers and even managing them, to some degree. I’ve come to learn that even on my darkest days, there are always tiny pockets of sunshine. I just have to look for them.
I’ll admit, I’m still not the best at practicing this search-and-find-the-joy method when I’m in the thick of it. I still lose my shit often, usually disproportionately to the situation at hand, and then spiral out of control, deeming it a shitty day, rather than just a shitting few moments or hours. But I make a practice of naming what I’m grateful for every night before bed to calm me down before I go to sleep. After all, there’s always something to be thankful for, even if it’s just that the day has finally ended without anyone going to jail or the neighbors calling me out for yelling at my kids (it is open-window season here in PA).
To help you find your tiny pockets of sunshine, here are a few of the things I’ve noted in the past that brought me a little happiness on an otherwise “bad” day:
- a piece of AIP-compliant dark chocolate
- homemade nut butter (eaten directly from the jar)
- the taste of a really ripe, juicy strawberry
- the feel of sunshine on my face (especially when it’s chilly outside)
- watching funny TikTok videos
- Dad jokes and puns — the worse, the better
- an unexpected hug from my son(s)
- an unexpected call from my college son
- an ass-grab from my husband
- talking to a girlfriend
- long-sleeved tops with thumb holes
- a warm cup of mint green tea on a cold day
- mittens
- a good sweat (in my basement gym or the sauna)
- hearing the @onepeloton instructors curse like me (especially @theirishyank)
- hitting the heavy bag
- PR-ing during a workout
- a great playlist (during a road trip or workout)
- ’90s rap (anything from Salt-N-Pepa to Tupac)
- any song that makes me dance/sing
- laughing with my kids (usually over a bad/inappropriate joke)
- walking outside to visit the neighboring farm animals
- fresh air (except when it’s tinged with cow manure!)
- an out-of-the-blue text from an old friend
- fresh bed sheets
- making it through the night without waking up to pee (rare!)
- Sunday mornings with my boo
- “Social Dancing”
- stretching
- laughing
- fresh hair color
- a good blowout
- having my hair washed and my scalp rubbed
- the smell of fresh-cut grass
- lawn mower lines in the grass
- vacuum lines in the carpet
- writing — especially when the ideas come effortlessly
- reminiscing with my college roommates
- talking with my bestie
- lunch with old friends
- creating a new recipe that doesn’t upset my stomach or trigger an autoimmune flare-up
- a compliment from a stranger
- a genuine apology
- when someone holds the door open for me
- finding new veggies at the farmers market
- an empty grocery store with full shelves
- a good audiobook
- an interesting podcast (I like learning new things)
- veggies on the grill (especially when someone else is cooking them)
- choosing the right size bowl for my giant salad on the first try!
- talking with my sister (especially when we reminisce about our grandmother)
- fresh flowers (especially tulips or peonies)
- when a server goes out of his/her way to make sure my order is allergy-compliant
- when someone tells me my blog post helped them feel seen
There are others, I’m sure, but I don’t write them down anymore. I used to, and I used to force myself to find not just one thing, but ten things. But to be honest, it felt forced and disingenuous. Plus, ten is A LOT of things to find and I felt bad about myself when I couldn’t get to that number. #aintnobodygottimeforthat.
The point is, even during your roughest days, there’s usually a small pocket of sunshine somewhere — you just have to stop and look for it. I hope my list inspires you to find your own tiny moments of joy, no matter how trivial or ridiculous they may seem. Like @gregisms on TikTok says, #findyourjoy.
-LJDT
