Weak Bones, Strong Attitude

At 51, I know I’m not young.

I have wrinkles, gray hair, incontinence, and osteoporosis. I use a multi-level pill box to keep track of all my medications and supplements, and I need glasses to read anything smaller than a stop sign. I get excited about new pots and pans and kitchen tools (ask me about the super special, super expensive sponges that I don’t let anyone else use and ruin), read the obituary section in my quarterly college magazine (after my Class Notes section — I’m not THAT morbid), and think everyone mumbles because my hearing sucks. I am at the age where talking with friends about our colonoscopies and shingles shots is the norm. Such is life in your 50s.

Last week, I had an infusion to mitigate my worsening osteoporosis. A little background for those of you who are new around here: I have Hashimoto’s disease, an autoimmune disease of the thyroid. I also only have half a thyroid gland. One of the fun side effects of these conditions is early menopause. For me, it happened at 40. Back then, I wasn’t a candidate for HRT (hormone replacement therapy) because of my PFO (patent foramen ovale, a congenital heart defect) and history of TIAs (transient ischemic attacks, also called mini-strokes), so my young, yet post-menopausal bones started to weaken — a common side effect of menopause.

Fast forward to present day, and my osteoporosis has worsened enough to warrant medical intervention. Talk about feeling old and weak! I thought lifting heavy weights and taking daily calcium supplements (and vitamins D3 and K) were enough. Apparently not. And while the likelihood of breaking a hip at 51 may seem far-fetched, given the fact that I have poor balance (which is why I don’t ride a bike), it’s more likely for me than you realize.

Ultimately, I opted for the annual infusion rather than daily oral medication because of my other conditions and medications — plus, I don’t have room in my pill box. But I was nervous. About a lot of things. I was concerned about the procedure. I was concerned about the side effects. I was concerned about the environment; medical infusions for osteoporosis are done alongside chemotherapy treatments in the hematology and oncology department of the hospital.

For some reason, this was unsettling for me. It made the whole thing feel graver than it was … until I got there. As I sat among the other 4 women of varying ages, each receiving lifesaving treatment, I realized how lucky I was. Osteoporosis isn’t going to kill me. This medicine, while it did make me quite sick for a few days, isn’t going to kill me. I may have weak-ass bones, but I’m strong AF and, like those women, I’m a fighter.

Sometimes, getting older sucks. The aches, the pains … But not everyone gets to grow old. Aging is a privilege. Those women reminded me of that. For all the bitching I do about gray hair and pill boxes, I really am grateful that I get to experience it all. Well, most of it … some of it I could do without, if I’m being honest. But I’ll take it over the alternative.

So bring it on! This midlife bitch is full of moxie, muscles, and medication (should I change the blog name?!), and she’s not stepping aside anytime soon.

-LJDT

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