With Age, Comes Wisdom

I recently turned fifty. The big 5-0 … Wow, did I really just type that?! I HATE that expression. The age doesn’t really bother me — although it IS getting disrespectful how long it takes me to scroll to find my birth year. But aside from that, it’s the cheesy terminology used around embracing this landmark birthday that really irks. You know what I’m talking about … lame-ass cliches like fifty and fabulous, feisty fifty, or the ultra-cringey fifty is nifty. That last one may only be used by my dad, but you get the point. I mean, I like alliteration and rhymes just as much as the next girl, but these are bad.

While my body has decided to turn on me in the past year and half (thanks, autoimmune disease, gene mutation, and toxic exposure!) and my PTSD/anxiety has forged a hearty comeback (this shit never really stops, does it?), I’m mentally stronger than I used to be and I’m definitely more self-aware. I know what I like and what I don’t like; I know my strengths and my weaknesses; I know what I’ll tolerate and what I won’t; and I know who I am and who I’m not — all for better or worse. As they say, with age, comes wisdom.

Since this blog is basically my diary (thus the name, Lauren in Charge: Diary of a Midlife Mom with Moxie and Muscle), I’m going to share with you a few things I’ve learned about myself during my 50 years on Earth. Now if we meet IRL, don’t say I didn’t warn you …

With age, comes wisdom (about myself)

• I’m not the same person I was 10 years ago
• I have a lot of issues, but therapy helps me get better
• Not having control and not feeling heard are my triggers (PTSD)
• I don’t have an inside voice and I curse way too much (but that probably won’t change)
• I’m impatient
• I’m judgemental
• My gut is rarely wrong
• I have to be dramatic first
• I’m a good person, but I can also be a major bitch
• If you attack my family, I will come after you
• I cry when I’m angry or frustrated, but I’m strong as hell
• Being an HSP (highly sensitive person) is my superpower
• I’m socially awkward because of my anxiety
• Writing and exercise are my cathartic outlets
• Gardening grounds me, but I’m not very good at it
• Bad puns and witty memes make me happy
• Homemade mixed nut butter is my weakness
• I’m not very nice when I’m hungry, thirsty, tired, stressed, or haven’t worked out
• Setting boundaries doesn’t make me a bitch (and I’m really good at it now)
• Resting doesn’t make me lazy
• I can say no without guilt, shame, or an explanation
• Life can be tough, but I’m tougher

For all of you who haven’t reached this milestone yet, consider it a blessing when you do. It has it’s challenges, but it also has it’s rewards.

-LJDT