So much for, “I’m back, bitches!”
Yes, I wrote that exact sentence back in November, 2020, after my last blog hiatus. It was even the title of the post. After that bold reentry into the blogosphere, I posted exactly four more times — the last time on January 28, 2021. Clearly, I overstated my return.
But shit happens. Life happens. This pandemic KEEPS happening. Nearly a year ago, after yet another blog hiatus, I swore I was back on my game, but I wasn’t. And I’m still not, if I’m being totally honest (and if you’ve read any of my past posts, you know I’m nothing if not brutally honest and painfully candid). Life’s been hard lately. Scratch that. Life’s been hard since January 2020, before the whole COVID crap started.
Living with an autoimmune disease has its challenges. Every winter, I experience a flare-up because of the change in weather. It doesn’t help that I also have Raynaud’s syndrome, making me extremely sensitive to cold temperatures. By January, it’s usually pretty bad. Last year, to make matters worse, I was also diagnosed with mercury poisoning and then mold toxicity, causing a host of new maladies to add to my long list. As if that wasn’t enough, my osteoporosis worsened, my PTSD triggered, and my anxiety spiraled, thanks to the never-ending pandemic and widespread racial injustice, plus a host of other personal, financial, and family-related issues. The result? Mental and physical health complications that have kept me from writing, making me a “Woman, Interrupted.”
For as long as I can remember, writing has been my salvation. The combination of writing this blog and practicing EMDR therapy has changed my life. But when the world shut down, so did I. After a few months, I was back — or so I claimed. Now, I’m back again. But this time around, I’m not making grand proclamations or big promises. This time, I’m just going to do the best I can, when I can. So I hope that means I’m back for good, on a more regular basis. That’s the goal anyway.
If I step away again, I hope it’s for better reasons — like an extended beach vacation. But even if not, know that I’ll always come back because writing is my catharsis, and I hope by sharing my truths, I’m helping you, too.
-LJDT
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