One of the hardest things about having an autoimmune disease — or multiple autoimmune diseases, as in my case — is knowing when to rest and when to push through.
Do other autoimmune girlies out there feel me on this? Or is this just a me problem?
My entire life, I’ve had trouble resting. My therapist says it’s trauma-related; my body is always on high alert.
I also have a tendency to take on too much. Case in point: for the past few months, I’ve been juggling work, family stuff, home repairs and renovations, my aging parents, and travel back and forth to NY — all while managing multiple chronic illnesses.
It’s a lot.
This week, my body gave out. My autoimmune diseases flared and I’ve been trying to get back to my baseline.
Unfamiliar with an autoimmune flare? For me, it means I look healthy, but I’m saddled with relentless fatigue, brain fog, joint pain, headaches, and GI distress. In other words, I’m a wreck.
The remedy, I know, is to rest. To reset. To double down on prioritizing what my body needs — peace.
So I tried.
On Tuesday, when the pain and discomfort peaked, I ‘took the day off’. I slept in. I skipped the gym. I didn’t work. I didn’t even go for my morning walk.
It didn’t help. I actually felt worse by the end of the day.
Why? Because instead of resting — really resting — I ruminated and stressed. About the workout I missed. About the work assignments I didn’t finish. About the laundry that piled up. About the time I wasted.
My body craved rest, but I resented taking it, and that only made things worse.
The next morning, I still felt like crap. But instead of doing nothing again and feeling bad about it, I decided to get back to my routine … just taking things a little easier than usual.
I slept in, just not as late. I worked out, just not as hard. I took my morning walk, just not as long. I got back to work, just focusing on what needed to be done that day.
I did the same thing the next day. I slowed down instead of stopping altogether.
It’s now Friday and I’m making my way back to ‘my normal’ a little bit at a time. I still haven’t done the laundry, but that has nothing to do with an autoimmune flare … I just really hate doing laundry.
—LJDT
