As a writer, my strength is adapting my voice to match my audience.
On this blog, I write with a very conversational, casual tone. For my clients, I write more formally—at least most of the time.
For those who don’t know, my day job involves ghostwriting health-related articles, blogs, newsletters, white papers, and web pages for national medical centers and major health systems.
When my audience is medical professionals, I use more sophisticated language and lots of medical jargon. When my audience is patients (people like you and me), I use plain words and uncomplicated explanations. Some health systems take it a step further, requiring me to use regional dialect and local slang to deliver their message for increased relatability.
But as casual as some clients want my writing to be, there is one colloquial term I refuse to use. And it comes up surprising more often than you’d think.
That word is fart.
🤢 I cringed just typing the word.
Rationally, I understand it’s a natural, bodily function. I understand we all do it. In fact, according to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), it’s considered normal to do it up to 25 times per day. (Personally, I think that sounds like a lot. But I’m not a doctor, so who am I to say?)
What I don’t understand is why everyone uses this casual, crass term, rather than a more dignified one. Even Merriam-Websters says it’s an impolite word.
And it’s not just prepubescent boys who use it on the daily. Grown men say it. Grown women say it. Content creators, journalists, even nurses and doctors say it. ALL THE TIME.
Case in point: The recent renaming of a simple, post-dinner walk to post-dinner f*rt walks.
BAAARRFF🤮
I agree walking after meals is a good idea. There are proven health benefits, including improved digestion and intestinal gas release. But is the new name really necessary? I think we all understood the assignment without the rebrand.
I know I’m in the minority on this. Other words I consider cringe-worthy—words like moist, nipple, panties, cock, and lover—are universally disliked (at least mostly) and therefore more easily avoided.
But f*rt? I seem to be the only one bothered by it … Except for @jenniferpricedavisartist, who wrote this children’s book in 2023.
Call me a prude, but I prefer to say pass gas. It’s clinical, accurate, and more innocuous—which is more than I can say for some people’s intestinal gas.
The only thing worse than hearing the word is experiencing (i.e., smelling) it … I think we can all agree on that. So can we now agree on a rebrand for the word, too?
—LJDT
