Last week, I drove four hours to spend a few days with my parents before driving another five hours to spend the weekend with a girlfriend (and to see my oldest son).
Add in the nearly nine-hour drive home at the end of the weekend, and that’s a lot of time in the car for me. Don’t get me wrong: It was definitely worth it. But I paid the price — it took my body two full days to recover.
As a 54-year-old postmenopausal woman with multiple autoimmune diseases and various GI issues, I am anything but spontaneous. Any outing — especially a road trip — requires research, planning, and props.
With Thanksgiving on the horizon, I thought I ‘d offer a public service of sorts to all my fellow peri/meno/postmenopausal ladies who will be driving long distances to visit family. I may not be able to help you avoid the traffic or dreaded family drama that usually accompanies this holiday, but I can share my travel tips and essentials for surviving the dreaded holiday drive time.
First things first, the research.
Getting directions, mapping out restroom stops (Grover Cleveland on the northbound side of the Jersey Turnpike and Molly Pitcher on the southbound side are the cleanest — at least on the route between PA and NY), and timing the drive for the least amount of traffic are all necessary before you even get in the car.
Then there’s the planning.
Rest stops don’t usually offer allergy-safe food options, which means allergy girlies need to pack food and snacks. If you’re like me, packaged foods don’t work, so that means I’m up late the night before meal planning and cooking. It’s laborious AF, but necessary … No one likes a hangry bitch.
Speaking of planning, organizing and packing medication is also a necessary evil. Autoimmune warriors know, missing meds pretty much guarantees a flare-up, and ain’t nobody got time for that!
Finally, the props.
Like most menopausal ladies I know, I’m in my comfy era. Give me a cute matching leisure set, a zip up hoodie or blanket that I can put on and take off as my body temperature fluctuates (I’d say shawl, but I’m not that old yet), knee-high compression socks to ward off leg swelling and stiffness (Therawear makes a bunch, including some whimsical ones for those of you who are into that sort of thing), and sneakers or recovery slides (Therawear also makes these, in lots of fun colors) and I’m good to go.
A neck pillow is also a good idea if you’re a passenger (not the driver, obviously), as are sunglasses or an eye mask if you plan on napping or just want to pretend you are to avoid talking to your family (again, Therawear makes a good one of these, too).
I drink over a gallon of water a day, so I travel with multiple filled water bottles. This is why mapping out bathroom stops in advance is essential.
Sometimes, however, my bladder doesn’t want to wait for the next rest stop. So I’ve taken to traveling with a few Travel Johns and hand sanitizer just in case. I haven’t used them yet, but a girl’s got to be prepared.
And speaking of prepared, I also highly recommend packing toilet seat covers. GI problem girlies know what I’m talking about. Sometimes shit happens — even in a public restroom.
I know this sounds like a lot, and it is. After all, I’m what my boys call low-key high-maintenance.
But I speak from experience. Gone are the days of just jumping in the car with nothing more than a good playlist. Surviving long road trips in midlife takes patience, planning, and props … And lots of pit stops to pee, stretch, and scream into the wind when it all just gets to be too much.
And it probably will be too much at some point. But you got this. Traffic and family drama be damned.
—LJDT
