Last week, I had an unexpected four-day sleepover at my mom’s … It was not the girls’ weekend I had in mind.
I was supposed to drive up to Connecticut to have lunch with two of my besties, then spend the weekend on Cape Cod with another girlfriend (and see my oldest son coach lacrosse for the first time). None of that happened.
On Tuesday, my 82-year-old father fell and broke his hip.
On Wednesday, he had surgery.
On Thursday, I moved in with my 83-year-old mother for four days/three nights.
My plan was to help — however I could.
I went to the grocery store. I washed the floors and cleaned the apartment. I threw out expired condiments and deli meat in her refrigerator. I cooked dinner.
We visited my dad. We watched TV. We talked and made decisions about the future.
We also quibbled over the thermostat (why do old people like it so hot in their homes?!) and how long I should stay (she didn’t want a babysitter, but I was uncomfortable leaving her alone). After all, most of our visits are shorter than 24-hours, so four days was a lot — for both of us.
But I wanted to be there. I needed to be there.
Raising elderly parents is hard. Watching them decline is even harder. There’s always something else going on, but showing up when it counts is important. They are important.
Four days on Long Island with my mom wasn’t the girls’ weekend I had planned … But it was the one we both needed.
Now let’s see if that still holds true this weekend when I return. And the weekend after that. And the one after that …
—LJDT
Hi Lauren, so sorry to hear Coach broke his hip! I hope he is recovering comfortably. Would you mind sharing their address privately to me? Sending them my love – Courtney (Shields) Burke
Thanks, Courtney, for asking about him. I’ll send you an email.