Anyone else remember the days of sleep training their babies? Feeding them, rocking them, dimming the lights, getting the room temperature just right …
Then, when those babies became toddlers and little kids, the nighttime routine became even more elaborate. Brushing their teeth, picking out the right pajamas, dimming the lights, getting the room temperature just right, finding their favorite snuggie, tucking them in, reading story after story …
It was a lot.
But now that I’m decades removed from those days, I’m convinced the longest, most complex nighttime routine doesn’t involve babies or children at all. It happens during menopause.
Gone are the days of just washing my face and jumping into bed. Going to sleep in midlife takes planning and props.
The first step is setting the mood. This is crucial. By 10PM, the curtains are closed, the fan is on, and the room temperature is set to 64°. (I’d like it colder, but marriage is about compromise.)
Then, there’s my nighttime ritual. After washing my face and brushing my teeth, there’s oil pulling, skin care, dry brushing, red light therapy, lymphatic massage, meditation, and breath work.
Finally, there are the props:
- Mouth tape to force nasal breathing (QueenTape is one I like because of the added hyaluronic acid and collagen)
- Silk-lined bonnet to keep my hair from getting frizzy and tangled overnight (this slouchy beanie style from Bonnet Queen is my favorite)
- Castor oil pack to help my liver detox (Queen of Thrones is the secret weapon of every #autoimmunewarrior and #hashisgirl, but I prefer Heritage Store and this cheaper option)
- Compression socks to reduce the edema that swells my calves by the end of each day (Therawear is my new go-to brand)
- 3D contoured eye mask to block out any remaining room light (Therawear makes a great one for side sleepers, like me)
- Arthritis gloves to keep my trigger finger from locking up while I sleep (Amazon has a bunch of options)
As for the rest of my nighttime attire, I wear an oversized tank top or t-shirt and women’s boy shorts because menopause night sweats are real and lingerie is for single people. I know it’s not sexy, but I’ve been with my husband for over 30 years and it doesn’t stop him from wanting sex, so oversized T it is.
Now if I could just figure out how not to pee in the middle of the night, I’d be golden. Is there a prop for that yet?
—LJDT
